M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan is to directors what Kevin Spacey is to actors.  Sure, The Sixth Sense wasn’t terrible, but it did mark the start of Shyamalan’s unsurpassed reign of snake-oil salesmanship.  From Unbreakable to The Village, Shyamalan has perfected the art of “film-as-vanity-project,” imbuing every scene he directs with an unwarranted, almost admirably pure egotism.  By the time I saw Adrian Brody dressed up like a Quaker flapping his arms like a retard, it was pretty clear to me that Shyamalan must be a horrible human being.

Needless to say, I derived a great deal of enjoyment from reading Janet Maslin’s review of Michael Baumberger’s new biography of Shyamalan.  It includes some priceless quotations, such as “Night’s shirt was half open — Tom Jones in his prime,” and “What kind of power could he have over me?,” which I imagine Baumberger delivering with a fist-shake towards the heavens.  And here’s a tasty passage that refers to Paul Giametti (the poor man’s Kevin Spacey, if that’s possible) when “Night” cast him in Lady in the Water:

Night got a call from Paul Giamatti.

‘’Dude, I am so Lady,'’ Giamatti said. This was in March, five months before shooting was supposed to begin, an eon in moviemaking.

‘’Stop it,'’ Night said playfully.

‘’I'm telling ya — I am.'’

Night didn’t need to ask Paul what had taken him so long. The thing was, he was in. And for a moment Night was healed.